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Our Sons: Grappling with 377A | CloseUp

Our Sons: Grappling with 377A | CloseUp

My ex-classmate she got two sons and then one son is a gay the other one is straight so you always talk not so happy with the gay one don’t feel good she said why are people so angry i’m the one who gave birth why do they.

Feel the pain there’s a larger family group chat and there was a member of the family who shared something i have learned the power of just saying to people that hey i’m gay and so all i said to the group chat was hi just so you know you’re talking about me.

Just so you know you are looking to criminalize my sex life for these reasons the government will repeal section 377a and decriminalize sex between men i believe this is the right thing to do and something that most singaporeans will now accept.

It would be unwise to ignore the risk and do nothing most people accept that a person’s sexual orientation and behavior is a private and personal matter and that sex between men should not be a criminal offence bye.

i was 17 years old then and i had a very huge argument with one of my ex-partners you know and i thought that you know instead of having all this arguments with him i thought that i should open up to my mom and tell her about it so the first thing i did was i sent her an sms because last.

Time no one said you know so we just used sms and i and i dropped her text i said mom i have to tell you something um i think that i’m gay and you know honestly when i sent it to house so so scared i was so scared because you know this is this is it you know this is the.

Time when your mom will actually um whether it will be the point whether she supports you or she doesn’t support you right what do you feel when you receive that message from me no i just asked you to come back home yeah and do you feel like you were upset or angry no i’m not angry at all this is life.

So i went home and the first thing she did was she put her hands on my shoulder and she said it’s okay it’s okay and then she asked me what do you feel like eating for dinner you know i’m gonna cook you dinner me.

i really struggle to find my identity as malay as well as being gay because it’s like it’s you cannot have both identities together you know because that’s what i was going on because i was told that you will be condemned my parents told me you you’ll be on.

Curfew you have to return home early you have to tell me who your friends are and we have to like go through religious counseling because you felt that this is just a face for you and you will get married because i do not want a gay sign i think it was very quiet on a sunday.

And you said to her uh relationship then she paused then i was reading her face trying to see be conflicted or angry but her words are so simple in this way she said ma denmark.

I feel like is saying that i pass out a couple of times then they have to resuscitate me and then when the paramedic reached to the hospital they have to pass to the emergency nurse right there was a big commercials at the same time i was like screaming pain pain pain then suddenly i overheard they say can you call the.

Other the wife to come in ah wife whose wife that was like screaming wife i know why when i had to make a hard decision when you had a heart attack i wasn’t sure what i’m supposed to do but i know i need to tell your family.

I told your brother i would take the step back so that um any family decision right is for you guys to decide because i know that as much as uh we are in a gay relationship the constant part is i do not want to hijack what is a sibling’s responsibility but your brother the eldest brother.

Was amazing here he said like you go ahead make the decision for him if there’s any concern about what needs to be done come back to us we’ll help you from there and i knew like from there i was.

I was accepted is when we talked to kyle’s mom about this video um she was a bit apprehensive and we know that something might happen along the way.

I do expect my parents to like um say that um here’s my significant idea i don’t want to force it on to them as much as it was my journey to find out my sexuality is they also they are on their own journey of like finding their own acceptance.

you know what else i am very unfit well for me it’s like what are the expressions of my queerness let’s put let’s start there right and the expression of my of my queerness include things like my professional life.

Given that i’m a drag queen which they are supportive of in the in the abstract as in you know they don’t disapprove of it and they’re not ashamed of it and they talk about it with me and with their friends um and then in the more direct sort of way like you know they’ve been to the show they.

Uh have brought friends to the shows give us the space to create a little bit of peer mentoring you have to be nice so a few things have happened since we shot an interview with with my parents first of all my father had a massive stroke in his sleep and.

Is still in hospital right now obviously this is quite stressful for everybody concerned myself included but more for my mom than possibly anybody else in the family and so i think we started to become a little bit less.

Comfortable as a family about them being included in the in the video because in a way i don’t think we’re set up as a family to deal with a potential backlash at this time i’m aware that when we say that it sounds vaguely paranoid.

I’m not so sure if we were that paranoid um one need only look at the comment section on any news story about the announcement of the repeal 377a or the or the intended repeal of 3778.

Has even happened yet and those fears are quite well founded let’s just say that there is a there is a particular vitriol and i would say it’s a particular vitriol from a faction of society that claims to be interested in family i think it’s obviously a big deal that.

We want to address 377a we can finally come to some agreement that it just should not be there anymore i will note that gay people and gay singaporeans and the lives of gay singaporeans are spoken about in opposition to families and singaporeans having families as if.

As gay singaporeans we don’t have families that’s the part of it that strikes me the most once again case singaporeans are not people with families as far as we’re concerned you know in the past because my father would be like yeah you know i was like like i go to your show and then you introduce me and every clap and it’s.

Like it’s a good time lah i was like yeah but you you should also understand that part of the reason that that’s happening is that you know unfortunately it’s just not that common or unfortunately it’s not ubiquitous that a gay person might have a parent.

That knows they’re queer and is proud to be associated with that i would say um thank you so.

Much is you

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